How to Relieve Tension in the Dorm Room
Unless you shared a bedroom with a sibling growing up, there’s a good chance that living in the dorms your freshman year will be the first time you share a room with another person. To make matters more awkward, this person will most likely be a complete stranger. Talk about new experiences! It’s natural to be nervous about student-move in day and your new living situation.
It’s also natural for there to be some tension between college roommates periodically. After all, you’re different people with potentially very different interests and personalities. Couple that with a new environment and new challenges and things can get tense rather easily.
When those instances arise, it doesn’t have to be the end of the world. Here is how to relieve tension in the dorm room so you can have a productive and enjoyable college experience.
Introduce yourself
Taking time to introduce yourself is an easy way to get off on the right foot. Not only does this give you the chance to make a great first impression, it also makes everyone feel welcome. On the flip side, skipping a formal introduction could invite tension into your dorm almost immediately, and may make a poor first impression.
If you’re the outgoing type, suggest getting to know each other over a cup of coffee. If you’re more of an introvert, break the ice with a handshake and quick introduction. Start with easy questions like “where are you from,” “what’s your major,” or something similar just to break the ice. Even a small interaction will ease the tension.
Try to find common interests
Even if it doesn’t seem like you have much in common on the surface, the truth is you won’t know unless you ask. At the very least, you’ll learn more about this person and they’ll likely appreciate you taking the time to ask.
If you do have something in common – even something simple like a favorite TV show or type of food – use that to drive a conversation and get to know each other. If it turns out they have many of the same interests as you, even better. Getting to know someone is a great way to earn their trust.
Have an open mind
If you and your college roommate have absolutely nothing in common, don’t fret. It doesn’t mean you can’t be cordial and enjoy your time together. Just try to have an open mind when it comes to your roommate’s interests and habits, as long as it’s within reason.
Maybe they enjoy cooking a smelly food or have eclectic tastes in music. Whatever it is, try not to dismiss something just because it’s foreign to you. Your roommate will probably appreciate that you made the effort and might even return the favor with some of your quirks.
Communicate openly, but be respectful
It’s normal to have disagreements when you share a living space. Instead of letting these moments define your dorm experience, try communicating your frustrations and expectations in a clear, respectful way so those issues can be resolved and hopefully prevent hard feelings from developing in the future. It can be awkward, but it’s worth it.
For example, if your roommate used something of yours without asking or kept you up late the night before a big test, let them know what happened and kindly ask they be more considerate next time. No one can read minds, which is why good communication is so important between roommates.
Don’t forget, communication is a two-way street. If your roommate comes to you with a problem of their own, be open to it and willing to find a resolution. Remember that there’s a good chance both of you are sharing a room with someone for the first time so there will be an adjustment period. Good communication can help ensure you’re both happy.
Give yourself (and your roommate) space
Between classes, homework, part-time jobs and everything else that comes with college life, it’s easy to be overwhelmed. When things are feeling tense or stressful for either of you, it helps to take a step back and allow you both some space to recharge your mental batteries.
It doesn’t have to be much – about an hour of quiet time to focus and recharge can do wonders. Even if you and your roommate have become good friends, a little personal space now and then can go a long way toward keeping things pleasant in the dorm.
Remember the golden rule
If you only remember one thing about living with roommates, it should be the golden rule: “treat others like you would like to be treated.” This age-old principle applies to a lot of situations, but it’s especially relevant when it comes to sharing a small space.
Would you like it if your roommate didn’t clean up after themselves, had friends over late at night or didn’t respect your personal space or property? Probably not. Treat your roommate like you want to be treated, and it’s more likely that they will do the same.
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